What Rhymes With Sotomayor?

So I've had a lot of people have been asking me what my take is on Owner's Supreme Court nominee, Sonia Sotomayor.

All I can tell you is what I witnessed first hand. I have only met her once, which was when Owner took me with him on vacation to Hawaii. We arrived on the islands at 2:30 local time and met Soto in the airport. With all the vetting problems with Owner's previous nominees, he decided to get started on his inevitable SCOTUS picks before anyone even announced their retirement from the court.

As this was the first time that Owner had met with Soto, Owner's wife decided that the best way to break the ice was to hit up the airport bar for Appletinis and tequilla shots. By the smell of him when they picked my carrier up from the Air Force One terminal luggage claim, I'm sure he had a couple of gin and tonics on the way there. Anyway.

So 2:30 martinis quickly turned into a drunken game of Presidents and Assholes...literally. Owner's wife decided to get up on the bar and start dancing to "I Touch Myself" while Owner was deep in a drunken discussion with the bartender explaining exactly his rationale as to why there are 57 states in the United States.

Last I saw Soto, she was in cuffs being led away from the Mexico City terminal yelling something about there being nothing in the Constitution that required her to pay for a plane ticket. I don't know why she was trying to get to Mexico City...maybe now that Owner has finally made sure nominees pay their taxes, perhaps it's time to start double-checking their citizenship statuses as well. I'm sure she was just trying to get back there to check the paperwork of her citizenship status, being the first Hispanic Supreme Court Nominee...it would be very awkward if Owner nominated an illegal immigrant to the Supreme Court.

No worries it ended well...I figured Soto was in good hands with the police...so I hailed a cab for Owner and his wife and got them checked into their hotel...which thankfully allowed pets. Owner's wife passed out in the bathtub, and after Owner drunk dialed Joe Biden and asked him if his refrigerator was running, he settled down for a good night's sleep.